Scars
by Gameslave
Summary: Post Xenosaga II As a trade for Shion's life, Jin allows himself to be taken by UTIC, where Jin must not only suffer the horrors wrought upon all UTIC prisoners, but fall victim to Margulis' personal vendetta.
1. First Move

_**Pointless Disclaimer: ** I do not own Xenosaga or any of its characters. If I did, I would be rich and would not be spending my Saturday mornings writing video game fanfiction. This fic was inspired by the RP community We All Float, the screenshot listed below, and a very stupid dream I had last night after eating a lot of vanilla ice cream._

(http/ Note: Yes, I understand the sexual implications of vanilla ice cream. Now that our lives are complete, let's move on, shall we?

**Scars**

Chapter 1: First Move

Chronologically speaking, the incident hadn't started too long ago, though in honesty it was impossible to tell at the time. Every hour seemed to stretch unto infinity in that abominable place equal only to the bowels of Hell. This is home to the insanity known vaguely as The U-TIC Organization. After everything that's happened, I actually have the guts to look back on it in now? I've always wondered whether I was couragious or immensely stupid. Even now, I still don't really know the answer to that question...

It had first started when Shion had gone missing. A few of Shion's friends and I were planning on meeting her in order to catch up on personal news and whatnot. She never showed up. I was temporarily living in her apartment on the Foundation and thought I'd surely see her. But I didn't. Nor did I see her the next day or the next. Two of Shion's friends, Junior and Mr. Kukai, had done all they could possibly do to discover her whereabouts, but had came up empty-handed.

After Shion had been missing for six days, everyone feared the worst. I didn't know what to do. If only I had been with her, if only I had argued a little longer, been a bit more stubborn, then she'd still be here. Once again, I wasn't there when she needed me most. I beat myself up the entire time, telling myself I was such a failure as a brother, as a man, as a human being.

After talking to authorities once again that day, I had gone back to Shion's apartment, mostly to try and get some much needed rest. I was emotonally exhausted. And now I'm going to be unable to sleep again. That's when I had found the note on the table.

The rules were, I had to come alone after it had gotten dark to the area noted in the letter, and she wouldn't be harmed. I stayed there, letter in hand, reading and re-reading it several more times than necessary.

Though she had been gone for so long without a trace, and everyone including me have been worried out of our minds, there was something in my mind that failed to comprehend that something bad could have really happened to her. But here was the reality of the situation, conveniently shoved into my face and rubbed in for good measure.

It didn't take too long to decide I was going. I had already failed to prevent this. The least I could do was get her out without the help of the police.

I walked toward the specified building, a warehouse on the outskirts of the Foundation, that night. I approached slowly, warily examining the area and ready to take out my sword upon the slightest noise or movement.

I eventually entered the warehouse with more than the usual amount of paranoia, hand on hilt, trying to make as little noise as possible. Once I was in, I saw there was no way I could sneak around in here. It was too dark inside to see anything. Sneaking around was futile if I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. Besides, it's not like I'm not expected. They probably know I'm here by now.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my frantic heart, and took four deliberately loud steps towards what I _hoped_ was the center of the room and stopped.

Nothing but the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, which by the way, was really distracting and annoying. I thought maybe I'd gone into the wrong building. I looked around, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness as quickly as possible.

Lights suddenly starting coming on systematically, almost blinding me at first. I lifted my right arm up, trying to block the bright light and look around me at the same time. Still there was nothing there. Only silence. This was becoming agonizing.

"Who's there?" I asked loudly, my voice echoing off the walls. There was another heartbeat of nothing, and then... footsteps! I spun towards the sound as the figure came into view. I felt my heart sink in terror.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't come," Margulis said with a smirk. "I'm glad you did. I almost would have been disappointed to ruin that pretty face of hers."

"Where is she? What did you do to her?" I yelled, gritting my teeth. I had feared it was the Colonel and had severly hoped against it.

"Relax," Margulis said. The angerier I got the wider his smile grew. "She's fine." Without taking his eyes off me, he reached his arm behind a pile of boxes and pulled up Shion, arms tied behind her back and gagged. She squirmed in Margulis' grasp and scowled.

I violently jerked. There she was! And in HIS hands. I couldn't imagine what she could have been through these past six days at the mercy of these maniacs! Research had proved a few of the things U-TIC did with their prisoners...

I pulled my sword from its shealth and pointed it towards Margulis. "Let her go!" I said, as though I actually expected the Colonel to do it on command.

Very neatly, Margulis whipped out a large dagger and put it to Shion's neck. She froze in place. I had to supress a growl. "A trade for her life," Margulis commanded.

There was nothing I could really do. It was a choice that was no choice. At this distance, there was no way I could charge him and attack before Shion's throat was sliced open before me. My mind flashed with ideas, none of them realistically able to save Shion.

"Fine. What do you want?" Shion squirmed again and tried to stop me, but her protests were drowned out by her gag.

"Revenge," Margulis said simply, ignoring Shion. "I want your blood to drench my hands. I want to hear you beg for your pathetic life. I want my scar etched into your entire being!"

At the time, I wasn't sure exactly what the man had in mind. There was something about the Colonel's tone that made me almost shudder. The guy was nuts. But whatever Margulis' price, I was more than willing to pay it for my sister's freedom. I was such an idiot.

"Fine," I said, quickly, trying not to listen to my sister's muffled cries.

Margulis sent a look to his left, and Pellegri emerged from her quiet hiding spot. "Your sword," Margulis ordered. "Drop it!"

I did so.

"Kick it to her."

I hesitated for a second, taking quick glances at Shion and the blade at her throat. "You have to swear," I growled, "you will not hurt her. Do what you want with me, but don't hurt her!" I felt ill trusting him, but did I really have a choice?

At this, Margulis hearlily laughed. It made me want to vomit. "That's what I like to hear, Uzuki." He watched me expectantly.

Without moving my eyes from the Colonel's face, I kicked the sword in Pellegri's direction, where she promtly picked it up. As soon as the sword was in her hands, Margulis threw Shion, face first, onto the concrete floor a few feet in front of me.

"Shion!" I yelled running over to her. I pulled the gag from her. She had a split lip from the fall and was crying, but otherwise seemed alright. I worked on getting her hands free. "Shion..." I whispered again. As soon as her hands were free, she hugged me, crying into my shoulder.

I was shocked. This was the first time Shion had ever done such a thing with me. How awful for it to take place during such horrible conditions. I lightly hugged Shion back. I just wished I could grab her right there and run with her into the night. They couldn't pursue us without attracting attention. But, the thought was instantly killed by the sound of a gun cock. I glanced at Pellegri, who was now holding my sword in one hand and a pistol in the other.

I could see victory welling up in Margulis' face, his stride. "Pay your price, Uzuki, and come over here."

I pressed Shion's head to my shoulder for a second longer, wanting to remember this moment: her warmth, her embrace, the way she smelled slightly like lillies. Shion, for once, not wanting me to go, prevented me from standing up when I tried. I removed her hands gently and quickly whispered, "I'm sorry."

I stood up and twisted my face in anger as I faced Margulis. I walked up to him until we were almost nose to nose. I was shaking, though I wasn't quite sure whether in fear or anger. Margulis just grinned with that stupid smirk I hated so much. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. I expected either a sword in the gut or a slash at my face for irony. Instead, Margulis lashed his hand out and hit me in the head, knocking me to the floor. I was on the ground before I'd realized what had happened.

My vision swirled as I looked at Shion, who was screaming and trying to crawl towards me, reaching out for me, trying to save me. I vaguely remembered hearing Margulis ordering someone to take me. And then, I blacked out.

----

_For the love of god, please tell me everything I did wrong. This is my first time trying to write a serious fic, and I desperately need criticism._


	2. Resistence

_**Not-So-Pointless Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own Xenosaga or the characters within Xenosaga. If I did, the game would be a crazy crack game that makes no sense whatsoever. By the way, special discretion should be used while reading this chapter. It's a bit brutal, so don't say I didn't warn you. It's not so bad now, but you should read while listening to the music I was while writing this. I should make a soundtrack to this fic to help enhance the experience. Muahaha. Wait... Why am I still talking? _

**Scars**

Chapter 2: Resistence

I woke up with a start. I would have lept to my feet if I were capable of it. I looked around the cell trying to figure out where the hell I was. The last thing I remembered was Shion... crying... and me on the ground...

Oh. Right.

Ugh. Now I remember. I've never been much for cursing and certainly have never done it in front of Shion, but if ever, now was the perfect fucking time. The room was freezing and most of my limbs were numb. I was sitting on the floor with my hands chained above me to the wall. If it weren't so damn cold, they would be aching like hell right now. And for some reason, I didn't have shoes, which made the temperature several times worse. At the time, I didn't feel like there were any injuries to worry about, sans my head.

There was almost no light in the cell, and everything was eerily quiet. Even if I hadn't been shackled, there was probably no way I could find the door anyway. Quite suddenly, I became aware of a horrible, grotesque smell in the room. It was nothing I'd ever encountered and was slightly afraid to know what it could have been.

I suddenly heard quick footsteps echoing down one end of the room, which was apparently longer than I had thought. Two U-TIC soldiers appeared from the darkness and stopped on either side of me, guns aiming at me. Because, you know, I'm just such a THREAT at the moment. In a way it was flattering, all this precaution. I must be a better fighter than I had thought.

The sets of slower footsteps advanced into my view, revealing an arrogant Margulis followed by Pellegri, keeping a solomn step behind him. "Heh," I muttered loud enough for my voice to bounce off the walls. "I was wondering what that smell was. It looks like my guess was right."

One of the guards hit me in the face with the butt of his gun. I hadn't seen it coming, and the blow took me by surprise.

Margulis, still with that damn smirk, kneeled in front of me so we were eye to eye. He seemed to be enjoying this. "How pretentious of you, Uzuki. You seem very confident for an insect ready to be squashed."

I sneered. "Don't act so cocky. This is the only way you could ever get the better of me: having me bound, stripped of my weapons... But on equal ground I- UGH!" Another hit in the face. I was getting pissed now. "You're just going to sit there and let your damn soldiers do your work, you coward!"

Silence followed. My voice continued echoing the word "coward" down the chamber. The smile on his face faded, but was still present. "I'm a coward, am I?" he whispered with a dangerous tone.

Somehow, I managed to bark a laugh out. "You've always been a coward, all your life. You could never do anything for yourself." Margulis held his hand up, stopping another blow to my face. "And, just like back then, you're still all talk and no action. If you're planning to kill me, than cut the theatrics and just do it already!"

He moved his face disgustingly close to mine, and I pulled away from it as far as possible in my restraints. I could smell his breath. "You misunderstand me, Uzuki. I'm not going to kill you," he grinned, "I'm going to make you BEG for death!"

I spat in his face.

He reared back in surprise and fell back until he was sitting on the floor in front of me.

"I'D RATHER DIE THAN BEG YOU FOR ANYTHING!"

Pellegri and the guards were staring at me incredulously while I grinned in victory. Margulis blinked at me and touched his hand to the offended cheek, almost disbelieving. The look on his face, that perfectly shocked expression, is something I will cherish for the rest of my life.

However, due to his quickly growing anger, it didn't look like I'd be cherishing it for too long. He stood up quickly, hands in almost shaking fists. He looked so genuinely pissed. How I loved every second of it!

"Take him to Cell 3! NOW!" he spat. Pellegri unchained me quickly with the trigger-happy guards focused on me the whole time. I felt an explosion of pain as the blood rushed back into my arms. I moved them gingerly and stood up in front of the now strangely patient guards. As I was led out of the room, Margulis yelled, "We'll see how much you'll be smiling tomorrow!"

Without losing my pace with the guards, I turned my head back to face him. I managed to give him a smirk and a wink before I was roughly shoved along.

----

I was in a strangely jovial mood for the situation. I should piss him off more often!

The chamber I was in, I discovered, was more of a hallway than a room. All the way down was a thin, easily camoflaged door. It didn't take long to reach Cell 3, but as we started getting closer, I started to feel a slowly building dread go through me. I fully understood what was going to happen. I was to be tortured. The Federation Government, especially the Special Forces division, trains you to a degree on how to resist torture.

U-TIC, however, was unfamiliar ground. You can only be trained on torture tactics if you know somewhat to expect. All I knew is that U-TIC occassionally used prisoners for experiments. And even that wasn't very settling.

When the doors, I hesitated. I was supposed to keep my cool. That was the first rule: Never initially show fear. However, I couldn't help but wonder how many others had gone through these doors before me. Once again, the guards shoved me through. Somewhere during the travel, Pellegri had left. I was considering what this meant when two ununiformed men joined the room. The previous two guards saluted them and left quickly.

Uhhhh...

The guards hadn't restrained me. Aside from my sword and shoes missing, I was fully able to fight. Do they _want_ me to escape? I raised my eyebrow, looking at one, a brown-haired guy who was snapping his neck, then the other, a red-head who looked almost bored. They actually look like kids, don't look tough at all. I guess I better get this over with, I thought to myself.

I charged the blonde guy first, but he was quick and dodged the attack. Again and again, he dodged my attacks. Too quick! Impossibly fast! What the hell was he?

"Ya done, yet?" He asked with a smirk. He made an exaggerated yawn. "I usually like it when they fight first, but this is booooooorrrrrrrring!"

Faster than I could possibly follow, the boy dodged to the left, took a small knife from his sleeve, and slashed down my back.

"AGH!" I yelled, surprised. How the hell does he move so fast? I glanced back just as he kneeled, shoved my face into the ground and slashed much deeper down the exact same line he'd made. I yelped in pain.

"Come oooooooon, Luc!" the red-head whined. "Don't kill him already! Save some for me!"

They lifted me to my feet by my shoulders like I weighed nothing, stretching the wound on my back. I gasped in pain.

"Sorry 'bout that, Albert," Luc said shoving his face in mine with a horrible grin no child should ever possess. "It just so much more fun _this_ way." With one hand, he snapped my elbow in the wrong direction.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" These children... these things... aren't human!

I was starting to panic. The kids shoved me onto an unusually high table in the center of the room I hadn't even noticed. Quickly, they were somehow able to make me stand up and then used a horribly tight elastic rope to tie my arms together behind my back. Luc made sure to pull the bindings as tight as physically possible, shattering what was left of my arm. Every jerk earned a scream out of me.

"Ready?" Luc whispered into my ear as the two jumped from the table. I could barely hear him. I was reeling from the pain. One second before it actually happened though, I realized what they were about to do. I was standing on the table, looking like a man ready to hang myself. The remaining elastic was supporting my bad arm and was tied to a bar at the center of the ceiling.

"WAIT!" I managed to yelp, but it was too late. Albert kicked the table from under my feet. I fell, and all the weight of my body was supported by my broken arm.

"AAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! OOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOD! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It was a pain more excruciating than anything I had ever felt before. I instinctally kicked, jerking the rope and making it several times worse. For the next few hours I was left hanging like that, screaming my head off. Everyone in the building must have been able to hear me. Margulis must have been laughing from wherever he was.

In addition, Luc cackled and skinned my legs slowly, enjoying every second. Albert pulled me down with his weight added to mine. Sometimes he would climb up and get to my face with his knife. I couldn't see through one eye during half the ordeal.

I think I blacked out a few times from the shock, but I was always brought back to reality by a sharp jerk. It seemed to last forever. I only had one thing to look forward to, and that was death. I could feel it looming not too far away, and I welcolmed it. The pain started to numb, finally. I vaguely felt something wet dripping down my face.

And I saw... Pellegri. She was reaching out for me, my savior. Why? Why does _she _have to be the last person I see? Not Shion. Not mom or dad. HER. Not even chaos. But before I could think more on it, the ground below me opened up like a brilliant mouth of mercy. And I fell, happily, into the abyss.

----

_Hey! Get back here! The story isn't over yet! Anyways, how do you like this chapter? I used the suggestions I've received so far, and I hope it's gotten a bit better. Maybe I'll edit the first chapter so it fits the style a bit._

_As I said, the fic is not over yet There will be a few surprises in the next installment. Also be on the look out for the editted readable version of Chapter 1._

_You better come back!_


	3. Regret?

_**The-New-and-Improved-Tedious-Disclaimer: **Do I really have to write this every, single time? Man! For those of you with ADD, I don't own Xenosaga or the amazing characters in Xenosaga. Now SHHH! The drama is so thick you can eat it! ...Mmmmm..._

-----

**Scars**

Chapter 3: Regret?

I walked down the hallway as briskly as possible, the two guards trying to catch up with me. I don't really have time for this. Normally this would be tedious work, but the circumstances are a bit... special.

I opened the door to Cell 3 to find Luc and Albert having 'fun' with the prisoner. "How is he holding up?" I asked loud enough to get their attention. They both stopped and backed up against the wall furthest from me, like kittens afraid of a dog. They didn't answer me. I looked from one to the other. I walked over to Jin and looked him over. He was a wreck. Blood was dripping from his legs and arm, dripping down his feet to make a rather large puddle. The right side of his face looked gouged out. His face was also covered in blood. I heard him mutter something. It sounded like "Shion."

"Hey! ... HEY!" I said loudly. I patted his face hard to snap him out of his delerium. His head rolled lazily. I saw his eyes glaze over as he continued to mutter incoherently.

"You!" I pointed to my guards. "Take him to the infirmiry immediately!"

"But Captain Pellegri..." one stutterd.

"I said NOW!"

They quickly stammered, took down the prisoner carefully, and carried him to the infirmiry. I looked back towards the two dimwits who had been in charge. "You idiots!" I yelled. "You weren't supposed to kill him! Look at how much blood he's lost! Be more careful next time! If you killed him this soon, the Commander would have had your hide!"

They both kept their eyes to the ground. Luc managed to mutter an apology as I left.

"Is he alright?" I asked as I walked through the door to the infirmiry. As if I actually cared.

"He'll live," the doctor said hastily as he wrapped up the prisoner's legs. "I think he just fainted in shock. His face looks worse than it is. All he needs are a few stitches and a cast for his broken arm..."

"No casts," I said firmly. "Your job is to make sure he can stay alive. He doesn't need a perfect recovery." The doctor was obviously hesitant about this order, but resigned himself to a nod.

The doctor stitched up the prisoner's... I mean... Jin's right eyebrow. It was so strange to think of this as just some other prisoner, an empty face. Still, this didn't look like the Jin she was used to. He looks so different. Old. Frail. Words I never would have associated with Jin before.

"Please watch him for a moment," the doctor said suddenly. "I'll be right back with more wrap. Just watch him and make sure he doesn't go critical. All he really needs is to rest and get his blood back." And with that, he was gone.

Since when did I suddenly become the bloody nurse! I sighed and took a seat next to Jin. I really hoped the doctor wasn't going to take too long. I had other things to do that day.

"Shion..." I heard Jin mutter. I looked at him as he squinted in his sleep. He was definitely still alive. "...I'm sorry... I couldn't..."

My eyes grew wide with curiosity as I looked at him, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. I tried to shake it from me. I looked down at my hands and prayed that the doctor came back soon. Or at least someone walked by who she could dump this duty on. It was different when you personally knew the victim. Much different.

"...Pellegri?"

I gasped and turned my head to Jin. His eyes were open, trying to adjust to the sudden light. I was shocked he could regain consciousness so quickly. "Don't move," I said. "You need your rest."

"...Why are you helping me?" he asked in a hoarse voice. The screaming had almost thrown out his voice. He had to pause every few words to gasp for breath.

I frowned. "Trust me. I'm not helping you. I'm only keeping you alive so you can go back in there again tomorrow." I said it like I meant it. But even I knew this was cruel. These tactics were reserved for those we desperately needed information from. But to slowly die this way?

There was a long silence as that statement seemed to settle into Jin's mind. Just when I was about to question when the doctor would return, I heard him laugh. I faced him slowly, and, yes, he was indeed laughing. Well, laughing as much as one could with that voice. Had he gone insane?

He started to sit up. I jumped out of my seat. "No, don't! You're just going to hurt yourself!"

"What do you care?" he asked sourly. "You're the one who wants me to get hurt, remember?"

I didn't respond, and the room stretched into silence again.

"You don't... like me anymore, Pellegri?" he said quietly.

I almost jumped. I looked at him. "What are you talking about?

"We were friends back then, remember? Even if you went with Margulis... I could never hate you, you know. I still consider you an old friend. And... And I know you're not him."

This got me angry. "You'd better hate me! I stand for the same ideals as the Commander! As far as you're concerned, if you're his enemy, you're my enemy. I will back him up when he needs it, and I will follow all orders without question!"

Jin laughed his painful laugh again. "No, you won't. You're not like him. You don't agree with him. You can't fool me."

I wanted him to shut up. I wanted him to stop! ...But it was true, wasn't it? I hated when the Commander brought innocents into a war which had nothing to do with them. I never understood how the end could justify the means. But that didn't mean that I... "No!" I yelled. "You abandoned me! You don't know me!" I grabbed a scalpel which had been lying on the table. And put it above his left eye. "You... You... You don't..."

"You won't do it." He said calmly.

Everything in me wanted to prove him wrong. To do to him what he did to the Commander. ...But I couldn't. Before I realized what I had done, I dropped the scalpel and hugged him. I wanted to cry. I really didn't want him to suffer. I still DID think of him as my friend despite everything! ...As a friend? ... Or

I regained my barings quickly enough before I really did cry. I sat back in my chair like nothing had happened.

After a another moment of silence, Jin painfully rolled onto one side. "Pellegri..."

"Oh, shut up!"

"...I af efrewtsd retggtyu"

"What?" She turned just in time to see his back heave. But since he hadn't been fed, he had nothing to throw up. His back heaved over and over again, and I ran from the infirmiry, unable to take it anymore.

It was just a trick! That's how Jin works, he gets inside your head first. He's just trying to make me turn on the Commander! But I wouldn't fall for it! I wouldn't! Your mind games won't work on me, Uzuki!

Because I knew, I KNEW, I had chosen the right path...

-----

Abouttwelve hours later, I walked with the Commander in silence as we headed back towards Jin's cell. Commander Margulis had commended me for getting Jin out alive. "That would have been no fun," he had said. I prayed Jin wouldn't mention what had transpired earlier. I do support the Commander. Though on this personal vendetta for revenge, he may be going a bit too far.

Finally, we reached the area Jin was kept in. He was not shackled since his injuries were binding enough. He was fast asleep on the concrete floor.

"Uzuki..." Margulis said, almost sweetly. Then he pulled his foot back and kicked Jin in the ribs. Jin yelped and curled into a ball as best as he could, trying to protect himself from another blow. He eventually looked up from behind his working arm up at Margulis. He almost looked like a child. Not at all like the Jin Uzuki she knew.

"Get up!" Margulis snapped. Jin just looked at him with a hopeless, pathetic look on his face, looking like he was about to burst into tears. He looked away from the Commander and at the floor. Margulis reached down and grabbed Jin by the top of his hair, forcing his face upright to look at him. "I said GET UP!" He dropped Jin's hair.

Jin's sorrowful face now bore a scowl, an icy look of pure hatred. But he wasn't planning on resisting again. Jin used his good arm to crawl a bit closer to the wall. He pushed himself up with it, just a little, forcing him to slowly put pressure onto his scarred legs. After some slow progress, he was finally up on his feet, still holding on the the wall, hunched over slightly, ginger with his movements, but he stood. He looked Margulis in the eye with an almost homocidal look.

Margulis grinned, and before I could say a word, he punched Jin hard in the stomach. I put my hand to my mouth.

"AAAAAHH!" he groaned as he toppled over in pain, his poor legs unable to take the strain and collapsed under him, reopening his wounds. He landed on his bad arm and yelled louder than before in unimaginable pain.

"What's wrong," Margulis asked in an exaggerated compassionate voice, "You don't feel like smiling today, you garbage?"

Jin laid there motionless, lightly sobbing, holding his broken arm carefully with his good arm and he sat back, leaning on the wall.

Hewas crying.

Margulis squatted down to face Jin at eye level and scoffed. "You're a sad sight, Uzuki. Look at you!" Margulis grabbed Jin's face, examining his injuries. "Only been here two days, and you're crying like a child! How pitiful... Now we see who the REAL coward-"

Before he could finish the sentence, Jin pounced onto Margulis in a fit of rage and reached forthe sword at his waist.

----

_SUSPENSE!_


End file.
